Just so folks know, I did, indeed, work on my book proposal yesterday -- and today as well (a little). I wouldn't say I'm making great progress, but at least I'm sketching in bits, realizing what I need to do, and strategizing. My next day with the proposal in a sustained way is Tuesday, when I shall be working from home. I know where I'll begin writing (and not just cutting and pasting) text, and that feels good.
Dealing with my own psychology around this project is obviously something of a challenge for me, and it's exhausting, which is probably why I needed to chill out a bit today. I watched most of Whitney Houston's funeral on television, vaccuuming and dusting much of the downstairs in our house as I did so. I made a shopping list and went to the store for groceries: tomorrow I'll be making an older WW recipe for mac and cheese that a former student sent me and that looks much better than the one I've made twice so far. I felt a panic attack coming on (really, o messed up head of mine?) ... which ultimately made me take a small dose of tranquilizer ... which in turn sent me directly to sleep. Sleep wasn't a bad thing, as I've been experiencing a great deal of insomnia since last summer. (I have a life-long history of sleeplessness, so it's nothing new; on the other hand, perimenopause is most definitely not helping). So I napped and just took it easy for the rest of the day, and the panic that was circling around me dissipated and hasn't returned. Throughout the day I spoke to my husband, who's in southern California taking care of a rental property, and now I sit in the living room, tucked up in my easy chair with my heated throw and laptop.
Tomorrow? I'm going to my Weight Watchers meeting. I'm losing, slowly but consistently: since I have no specific weight goal in mind but simply want to fit into an old pair of jeans that are currently two sizes two small for me, I'm content in taking my time to get there. As long as I lose each week (okay, well, I gained one, but otherwise I've lost every week), I don't feel the need to be on the fast track. In a week I generally exceed not only my daily points, but my weekly extras as well, and yet I'm still losing. (I figure this is because I'm hard-wired for weight loss.). Still, despite the extra points, as of last week I was averaging a loss of 1.9 pounds a week, which is close to the 2.0 max loss that Weight Watchers recommends. We'll see what tomorrow's results bring.
So? A quiet Saturday, and I have an equally quiet Sunday planned as well -- hopefully without the angst attack I experienced today.

