Today is one of those days when, despite my best intentions and best-laid plans, writing is not coming easily. So what I'm telling myself is ... write anyway.
I've finally begun my revision process for my POTO article. That's the good news. Still, because I'm almost two weeks behind schedule with that, according to my own time frame, because school starts next week, and because I have another end-of-the-month writing deadline (in addition to the self-imposed POTO deadline), I'm feeling a little tense.
The tension does not help with the revision process.
Well, that's probably not entirely true, as I can feel my brain going into that weird warping zone where, even as I'm not at all sure what I'm doing, I'm processing and turning over options in my head. But let's just say that it doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel smart or insightful or strategic or anything except hard.
So I forced myself to revise a little anyway today, and I found three library souces I need to examine for the piece which I'll pick up tomorrow when I'm on campus. Then I decided that if I'm not making great headway on that piece today, I can at least write here just to keep words flowing.
The important thing is to write, even when it feels as if there's nothing to say or I don't know how to say it.
As the start of the semester approaches (January 22), I'm feeling very particular about how, where, and with whom and what I spend my time. Writing and revision take precedence this year over pretty much everything else, given my deadlines.
I'm making a conscious effort to restrict time I spend online using social media, unless it relates to writing or research. I'm cutting back on email.
I'm picking and choosing where I spend my energy.
I'm favoring writing-centered forums and activities and relationships over others, and all of that feels like necessary self-protection and self-care.
And on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays, and Sundays I'll be walking regularly again according to a regular schedule -- mostly to get myself ready for all the walking I'll do in Scandinavia and Russia in May but also for just for good health and inner balance.
So yeah. I'm busy and I'm about to become overcomitted. Yesterday the writing went well, today not so much. But it's all good -- because I like the classes that I'm about to start teaching next week, I'm a professor and writer by training and preference, and I'm luckier than about 99.9999% of the world's population.
As long as I write no matter what.